


Mental Pain Is Physical

by TheImmortalThiefLord



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5292107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheImmortalThiefLord/pseuds/TheImmortalThiefLord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>and physical pain is mental.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mental Pain Is Physical

Octavia isn't in love. She won't let herself be. Love is weakness, and Octavia has striven her whole life to be strong. She realized this after Lincoln died, when she felt like her heart had been stolen from her and buried under the dirt like his body. She'd searched for a long time to find it again, and when she did, she realized just how broken it was. So she swore to never fall in love again.

But now there's Clarke Griffin. Clarke, who waltzes into the camp like she owns it. Clarke, who's blond hair falls around her face in tight curls, who's hands are rough from years of doctoring and holding a gun. Clarke, who's eyes catch Octavia's so often, full of hurt. Octavia gave up a long time ago trying to be friends with her. The closer she got, the harder it was to pull away.

Octavia knows it won't last forever. Someday she'll be able to look at Clarke without noticing her hair, her hands, her eyes. And until that day comes, she is going to keep far away from Clarke. Except, of course, when she needs a medic. 

Which, incidentally, she kind of does right now.

Octavia pulls herself out of bed and swings her legs down to the cold earth. She has to search around for a while before she can locate her boots. She's already laced one up before she realizes that she's not wearing socks. She finds a stray sock that looks more to be Bellamy's than hers, pulls it on her foot, and jams her foot inside the other boot. Her shoulder throbs. It's been like this off and on all day. The gunshot wound has long since healed, this is the first time it's hurt her in a couple months.

The camp is quiet as Octavia makes her way over to Clarke's—er, the medic's tent. She enters silently, her grounder training kicking in. Her eyes adjust to the dark, and find Clarke curled up in her bed. Something must alert Clarke though, because she sits up and swings herself out of bed. She heads over to Octavia, a question already posed on her lips, but Octavia cuts her off.

"My shoulder," she tells her. "It started hurting again this morning, and it won't go away."

Clarke's eyebrows go up, but nevertheless, she motions Octavia to the examination table. Octavia swings herself up, wincing as her shoulder sends fire through her body. She can hear Clarke rustling around in the medical bin behind her and she steels herself for Clarke's touch, but it still startles her. Clarke's hands are slightly cool as she pushes her fingers into Octavia's shoulder. Octavia flinches away from her, partly because it hurts, and partly because she's annoyed at herself for enjoying Clarke's touch.

"You're going to have to take off your shirt," Clarke tells her. "I need to examine the wound more closely. It looks infected."

Octavia turns red as she tries to pull her shirt off and realizes that she can't get it over her head. It's stuck, and her arms are up in the air, waving like an idiot. Oh, and Octavia didn't think to put on a bra before she left her tent.

Clarke gently helps her move the shirt and she lays it, almost gently, on the table next to Octavia. She hands Octavia a cloth to make herself modest, and even turns her back while Octavia awkwardly wraps it around herself.

Finally Clarke turns around and pulls out a few things from her pockets. Octavia can't see what she's holding, but suddenly there's a sharp pain in her shoulder, and she can feel something running down her back. She cries out in pain, tears springing into her eyes. She can feel Clarke's hands on her, trying to calm her down. Clarke wraps a bandage that smells like alcohol around Octavia's shoulder. At this point Octavia can barely breath, much less stop her tears. She's becoming hysterical.

She hardly feels anything as Clarke leads her to a bed and helps her into it. Clarke's sure hands cover her in the warm blanket, tucking in the edges. There's a silence, and Octavia thinks Clarke has left. But then she feels the bed moving, and Clarke's body is next to her, pulling her close, calming her down. Clarke strokes her hair and wipes her tears away, handing Octavia a cloth to blow her nose on.

Octavia can feel herself falling into sleep. She struggles to stay awake, to enjoy the feeling of Clarke holding her, but sleep eventually claims her. The last thing she remembers is Clarke whispering to her, "You're okay, it's all okay now. I'm here now."


End file.
